Thoughts. Musings. Electrical Synapses.

Borderline Personality Disorder, Self Harm and everything in between.

Im not sure if I’m handling daily bullshit and stress well, or I just don’t give a fuck anymore.

🎭

I’m tired of faking smiles and and being nice to people +assholes, costumer service sucks balls.

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Sadness can be addictive, and once you run out of it, things can get confusing.

💣

I can’t have anyone raise their voice at me without me dissociating or getting in fight or flight mode.

Results of domestic violence and emotional abuse maybe?

❗❓

Greetings. I’ve been away for a while, and I’m trying to catch up. Everything feels like that these days.

I finally started working (which I desperately needed), but every hour feels like hell and I’m drained when I leave. It seems like no matter what I do is never good enough. If I make a mistake everyone needs to make an example out of it. That kind of hostility is common there, and I understand some pathetic people need it because they feed from it, but when is it enough?

Anxiety is ruining my mental and physical health. I’m tired of walking on eggshells every day and I don’t know what to do.

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㏂㏘

My mind never rests. During the day it’s remembering, screaming and racing. When nighttime comes and I fall asleep, all the monsters come alive inside my head.

I wasn’t feeling like myself, I needed to make changes, physical ones. Today I shaved one side of my head, new piercings and tattoos are next.

Although it might seem silly, I feel like I’m falling into place again.

Some days it’s hard to pinpoint what’s bothering me because I can’t remember things chronologically.

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