Thoughts. Musings. Electrical Synapses.

Borderline Personality Disorder, Self Harm and everything in between.


The night is dying and I’m wide awake. Restlessness and anguish bring me to this state of inertia.

I feel like I’m flying, yet I languish in bed, shrouded by night’s last breath.


Horror movies and vodka. Great day 😒



The nigh is dying again and I’m wide awake.

Mistrust turned out to be gut instinct.

Possessive, jealous, insecure, false, I drew the line. He wants to own me, he can’t, now he’s mad. He stalks me any way he can. This has been going on for about a month.

Today I found out he’s not single. He lied to me and lied about me. I had a feeling something else was wrong, now I know.

With BPD is easy to become paranoid under stress, so I have to stop this somehow. Recovery hasn’t been easy, and no one is going to ruin that.


I miss emotional intimacy, the physical type doesn’t last and has little to no value.


My bones hurt when he held my hand.

When someone doesn’t accept NO for an answer, things get scary.


I forgot what trust feels like.


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