Thoughts. Musings. Electrical Synapses.

Borderline Personality Disorder, Self Harm and everything in between.


I can’t tell if this is peace or indifference. Things rarely move me anymore.

BPD Problem:

When you feel like dying, then you get attention from someone you like and suddenly life is awesome. Stupid BPD.

I’ve become a recluse in my home. I can’t leave unless someone accompanies me.


I can’t bring myself to communicate, even with people who need me. I feel like a shitty person, but I just can’t do it, don’t know why.

Interesting article:

How Mothers ‘Spread’ Borderline Personality Disorder to Children / Show Me a Patient with BPD and I Will Show You a Patient Whose Mother Had BPD...


Everyone wants to fix  you when you’re not broken, but when you truly are no one gives a shit.


“One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can alert you to boundary violations in your life.”

– Henry Cloud

Those of us with BPD often struggle with being able to say no to some things or put an end to them, even when they’re harming us. One of the causes for this could be that our personal boundaries weren’t respected from an early age, before we could understand what consent was, therefore making that line extremely blurry and confusing. Another one could be that we feel so damaged, we can’t tell what is healthy from what isn’t. Sometimes, we sabotage ourselves so many times with our impulsive behaviors that we don’t know when and where to stop. We end up hurting so much from our coping mechanisms (cutting, alcohol, drugs, sex, etc.) that the only way to find relief is to repeat the cycle all over again, and it never ends. We burn ourselves so much that we end up numb.

After many things that happened last year I finally started setting boundaries in my life. I’ve had to let go of some people and be forthright about the reasons why, more than once I’ve heard: “You’re overreacting.”

When people have no respect for you and you demand it, for them it’s going to come across as if you’re the one that’s doing them wrong. Don’t let the gaslighting get to you. Respect yourself, let them go.


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