Thoughts. Musings. Electrical Synapses.

Borderline Personality Disorder, Self Harm and everything in between.

Inertia

The night is dying and I’m wide awake. Restlessness and anguish bring me to this state of inertia.

I feel like I’m flying, yet I languish in bed, shrouded by night’s last breath.

📺🍷

Horror movies and vodka. Great day 😒

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🌑

The nigh is dying again and I’m wide awake.

Mistrust turned out to be gut instinct.

Possessive, jealous, insecure, false, I drew the line. He wants to own me, he can’t, now he’s mad. He stalks me any way he can. This has been going on for about a month.

Today I found out he’s not single. He lied to me and lied about me. I had a feeling something else was wrong, now I know.

With BPD is easy to become paranoid under stress, so I have to stop this somehow. Recovery hasn’t been easy, and no one is going to ruin that.

💔

I miss emotional intimacy, the physical type doesn’t last and has little to no value.

💢

My bones hurt when he held my hand.

When someone doesn’t accept NO for an answer, things get scary.

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🃏

I forgot what trust feels like.

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